Jay-Z's got 99 problems but the cost of his fecal matter ain't one

At Black Pitch Press, you can apparently buy the bacteria, skin cells, fecal matter and/or urine of some of today's top musicians. Think of it -- once the stem cell revolution comes around, you'll be able to clone yourself a Jakob Dylan for the low low cost of just $8.75 plus shipping! But do you have twenty-seven bucks? Because if you do, Michael Stipe can talk a dump on your chest! A virtual dump, of course.

Some of the other musicians sampled include Rick Allen, Julian Casablancas, Conor Oberst, David Lee Roth, Sammy Hagar, Rick Nielsen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and, of course, Jay-Z ($33.00 for poo!). I'd rather spend the money quenching my need for Stooges records, but whatever.

Blood Brothers announce Young Machetes: it's already leaked

Just when you thought those crazy bloggers couldn't pirate music any faster, the new Blood Brothers record, out October 10th on V2 Records, has leaked. Can I point out that I just heard about this record's existence less than a week ago? Are you people stealing from Johnny Whitney's bedroom or something? Jesus Christ.

Anyway, the record is called Young Machetes and is supposedly going to bridge the gap between the unabashed genius of Burn, Piano Island, Burn and the simpler, more textually complex Crimes. I'm very interested in hearing this. After all, the Bros have written some of the richest, most sonically challenging hardcore music of the last ten years.

If you're going to find it on Soulseek, make sure to get it when it comes out or pre-order it. These guys are worthy of your help.

Blood Brothers - Official Site

Hear the new Matthew Friedberger!

Here in the states, we're mainly counting the days until Tuesday when we can buy the new Lily Allen record. When that is over, though, we'll need something to occupy our precious time, and Fiery Furnace Matthew Friedberger is just the man to do it. After all, his (even for him) ultra-ambitious double album Winter Women/Holy Ghost Language School comes out August 8th on 859 Recordings.

I always love to hear about how badly people misinterpret Matthew's work in critical reviews, and this album is no different. I've already heard the term "unlistenable" about twenty times. Cool. You know how much I love this guy, so either listen to some tracks below or just skip ahead to the next entry.

At Obscure Sound, you can hear "The Pennsylvania Rock Oil Company Resignation Letter", "Her Chinese Typewriter", "Don't You Remember?", "The Cross and the Switchblade" and "Do You Like Blondes".

At Noise for Toaster, you can hear "Under the Hood at the Paradise Garage", "Ruth Versus Rachel" and "Holy Ghost Language School".

At Good Hodgkins, you can hear "Things Were Going So Well", "Up the River" and "Seventh Loop Highway".

I know it's a double album and everything, but that's still a fucking great sampling of the two records. Enjoy.

Back from vacation

After a two week hiatus, Airport Samba is finally ready to return from a summer break. I've got lots of interesting stuff for you, including my thoughts on the new Matthew Friedberger, Girl Talk, Bonnie "Prince" Billy and Pajo. Not to mention a trip to see the lovely Jens Lekman.

For those of you at the Pitchfork Music Festival, fuck you. For the rest of you, welcome back.

Jeff Mangum plotting to kill Zach Condon, financing ab machine

This one is only sort of a joke. If you go to Aziz is Bored, comedian Aziz Asnari conducts an interview with "Jeff Mangum" about his future. Topics include Aeroplane's influence, his plot to destroy Beirut, a Neutral Milk Hotel "total gym", and the idea to create a VH1 reality show called "The Queen of Carrot Flowers" where Jeff finds a wife Joe Millionaire-style. Ill.

You can hear it here.

Though Neutral Milk Hotel actually isn't returning, there is some consolation. Orange Twin has made the only record from Mangum's side project Major Organ and the Adding Machine finally available on vinyl. Not exactly a brand new concept album, but it's all I got.

Monday's Best: Slits playing Boston, Bobby Gillespie bludgeoned outside club, David Byrne didn't steal from hot dog stand

According to several sources, reformed all-girl punk band The Slits are playing their first Boston date in over a quarter century at Great Scott's on October 30th, the day before Halloween. Aside from flat-out rocking, the band is infamous for posing half-nude in their liner notes (they were also, arguably, except for the Raincoats, the most popular all-girl punk band of the 1970s). There's also a band called Aids Wolf playing, apparently. Keep this date open, things could get interesting.

In other news, NME is reporting that Primal Scream singer/head maestro Bobby Gillespie had the shit kicked out of him outside a Spanish nightclub just days before the band was slated to perform on one of the last episodes of Top of the Pops. Apparently, Primal Scream played "Country Girl", black eyes and all. Can't wait to see that up on YouTube.

Lastly, Pitchfork published an interview with David Byrne this morning. Even if you don't care about Byrne's newfound love for 1980s Spanish opera or why he decided to keep "Qu'ran" off My Life in the Bush of Ghosts, he's got some interesting things to say about the music industry. Check it out here.

Slice of Samba: Futureheads, Paul Holcomb, Destroyer

The Futureheads - "He Knows" (courtesy of Bradley's Almanac)
This is a live track from the Futureheads' last stop in Boston a few weeks ago. I was at the show, and loved it, but not as much as I love it now. They are so crazy good live -- I hope you get the chance to witness it.

Paul Holcomb - "Ted's Techno Tubes" (courtesy of Yeti Don't Dance)
If you're not a big blog reader or a Daily Show aficionado, you probably haven't heard about this. This is cut-up actual audio footage from the Chairman of the Senate Commerce Committee, 85 year-old Ted Stevens. Keep in mind that this guy regulates internet activity in the United States when he mentions that the internet "is a series of tubes" and that when other people are downloading movies he can't get the internets that his staff sends him. Right.

Destroyer - "European Oils"
Many people are calling Dan Bejar's newest, Rubies, the album of the year, including awesome comedian and DJ Aziz Asnari. I haven't gotten a chance to hear the whole record, but you can listen to the track that people are loving, courtesy of Good Hodgkins.

Bright Eyes will release rarities collection in October

October 24th will not only be the first Tuesday I'll be 21, it will also be the day of the first Bright Eyes release since last year's live album, Motion Sickness. According to the Saddle Creek Records newsletter, Conor Oberst has put together an announced amount of rarities on an album titled Noise Floor, ready to be released on October 24th. Of course, this isn't Bright Eyes's only planned release -- he's publicly talked about his yet-to-be-named spring 2007 record. Get out your wallets! Or your torrent programs. Just get out something.

Again--
Bright Eyes - Noise Floor (Rarities 1998-2005) -- October 24th, 2006
Cool.

The Velvet Underground & Nico: best debut album ever?

In the latest issue of Uncut Magazine, the editors have chosen what the consider to be the 100 greatest debut albums of the last 60 years. The list is pretty good -- though I have to say that Isn't Anything was not My Bloody Valentine's first record. I don't know who fucked that one up.

See the full "100 Greatest Debut Albums" list here.

Jens Lekman show sells out; I'm relieved to be so obsessed

Swedish singer/songwriter/sampler/hottie Jens Lekman's Boston stop at T.T. the Bear's Club in Cambridge on July 22nd has sold out, according to Ticketmaster and the T.T.'s Box Office. This doesn't come as a shock or let-down for me, who totally fucking adores this man, and bought tickets months ago. Those of you who decided to wait will now have to eBay it.

Lekman has significantly risen in popularity since last year's stop at P.A.'s Lounge, following the release of Secretly Canadian compilation Oh You're So Silent Jens. We're still waiting on his third full-length, with no release date or album title in sight.

If you're a fan of Morrissey or the Magnetic Fields, you need to hear this man. Seriously. Click below.

Jens Lekman - "Black Cab"
Jens Lekman - "Someone to Share My Life With" (Television Personalities cover)
Jens Lekman - Official Site